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Mark Twain Quotes

Samuel Lang­horne Clemens, bet­ter know by his pen-name Mark Twain, was an Amer­i­can writer, pub­lish­er, humorist, entre­pre­neur, and lec­tur­er.

Raised in Han­ni­bal, Mis­souri, Twain has been hailed as “the father of Amer­i­can lit­er­a­ture.”

He is per­haps best known for his humor­ous writ­ings and lec­tures, on a vari­ety of top­ics from pol­i­tics and reli­gion, to clas­si­cal lit­er­a­ture, edu­ca­tion, and love.

Twain’s best known nov­els are The Adven­tures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, The Adven­tures of Huck­le­ber­ry Finn. Pub­lished in  1884, Huck Finn is a quin­tes­sen­tial Amer­i­can nov­el that remains on school read­ing lists today.

Mark Twain’s wit and satire earned him crit­i­cism and also a great deal of praise.

Accord­ing­ly, he became a friend to Pres­i­dents, busi­ness­men, artists, and mem­bers of Euro­pean roy­al fam­i­lies.

His enor­mous suc­cess as a writer and speak­er earned him a con­sid­er­able sum of mon­ey, but Twain invest­ed in a series of risky ven­tures before even­tu­al­ly fil­ing for bank­rupt­cy.

Twain was born in Novem­ber 1835, short­ly after Halley’s Comet appeared in the sky. He pre­dict­ed that he would “go out with it, too” and he was right… he died the day after it reap­peared in the sky in April 1910.

His insights on all kinds of top­ics con­tin­ue to fas­ci­nate and inspire us today, so we hope you’ll enjoy this amaz­ing selec­tion of Mark Twain quotes.

200+ Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain quote “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything”

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remem­ber any­thing.” – Mark Twain

“When­ev­er you find your­self on the side of the major­i­ty, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”

“A banker is a fel­low who lends you his umbrel­la when the sun is shin­ing, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

“Decem­ber is the tough­est month of the year. Oth­ers are July, Jan­u­ary, Sep­tem­ber, April, Novem­ber, May, March, June, Octo­ber, August, and Feb­ru­ary.”

“I was sor­ry to have my name men­tioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Mil­ton, so is Shake­speare, and I’m not feel­ing so well myself.”Mark Twain’s Speech­es

“Any­one who can only think of one way to spell a word obvi­ous­ly lacks imag­i­na­tion.”

Mark Twain quote

“I have nev­er let my school­ing inter­fere with my edu­ca­tion.” – Mark Twain

“The only dif­fer­ence between a tax man and a taxi­der­mist is that the taxi­der­mist leaves the skin.”

“Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.”

“The only dif­fer­ence between real­i­ty and fic­tion is that fic­tion needs to be cred­i­ble.”

“Nev­er let the truth get in the way of a good sto­ry.”

Mark Twain on friendship “No man is a failure who has friends”

“No man is a fail­ure who has friends.” – Mark Twain

“Noth­ing exists; all is a dream. God—man—the world—the sun, the moon, the wilder­ness of stars—a dream, all a dream; they have no exis­tence. Noth­ing exists save emp­ty space—and you!” – The Mys­te­ri­ous Stranger

“I do not like work even when some­one else is doing it.”

“Just when I thought I was learn­ing how to live, ’twas then I real­ized I was learn­ing how to die.”

“Let us not be too par­tic­u­lar. It is bet­ter to have old sec­ond-hand dia­monds than none at all.”

“Don’t use a five-dol­lar word when a fifty-cent word will do.”

Mark Twain musing “I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey”

“I won­der if God cre­at­ed man because He was dis­ap­point­ed with the mon­key.” – Mark Twain

“I’ve nev­er wished a man dead, but I have read some obit­u­ar­ies with great plea­sure.”

“I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the lim­it forty years ago. You can’t go beyond pos­si­bil­i­ty.”

“I have been com­pli­ment­ed many times and they always embar­rass me; I always feel they have not said enough.”

“Let us make a spe­cial effort to stop com­mu­ni­cat­ing with each oth­er, so we can have some con­ver­sa­tion.”

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trou­ble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

Mark Twain quote “Whoever is happy will make others happy too”

“Who­ev­er is hap­py will make oth­ers hap­py too.” – Mark Twain

“It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.”

“He had dis­cov­ered a great law of human action, with­out know­ing it, name­ly, that, in order to make a man or a boy cov­et a thing, it is only nec­es­sary to make the thing dif­fi­cult to attain.”

“If a per­son offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was inten­tion­al or not, do not resort to extreme mea­sures; sim­ply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.”

“When ill luck begins, it does not come in sprin­kles, but in show­ers.”

Mark Twain quote “Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself”

“Love is not a prod­uct of rea­son­ings and sta­tis­tics. It just comes-none knows whence-and can­not explain itself.” – Mark Twain

“The prop­er office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Near­ly any­body will side with you when you are in the right.”

“Neces­si­ty is the moth­er of tak­ing chances.”

“To believe your­self brave is to be brave; it is the one only essen­tial thing.”Joan of Arc

“If you don’t like the weath­er in New Eng­land now, just wait a few min­utes.”

Mark Twain humor “Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.”

“Get a bicy­cle. You will not regret it, if you live.” – Mark Twain

“I don’t like to com­mit myself about Heav­en and Hell, you see, I have friends in both places.”

“All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being… he can’t be any worse.”

“One should nev­er use excla­ma­tion points in writ­ing. It is like laugh­ing at your own joke.”

“Be care­less in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.”

“He was sun­shine most always‑I mean he made it seem like good weath­er.”The Adven­tures of Huck­le­ber­ry Finn

Mark Twain quote “Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself”

“Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.” – Mark Twain

“The test of any good fic­tion is that you should care some­thing for the char­ac­ters; the good to suc­ceed, the bad to fail. The trou­ble with most fic­tion is that you want them all to land in hell togeth­er, as quick­ly as pos­si­ble.”

“Human pride is not worth­while; there is always some­thing lying in wait to take the wind out of it.”

“Con­tin­u­ous improve­ment is bet­ter than delayed per­fec­tion.”

“If every­one was sat­is­fied with him­self, there would be no heroes.”

“I think that to one in sym­pa­thy with nature, each sea­son, in turn, seems the loveli­est.”

“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it”

“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a pre­ven­tive of toothache. I have nev­er had the toothache; and what is more, I nev­er intend to have it.” – Mark Twain

“There are three things men can do with women: love them, suf­fer them, or turn them into lit­er­a­ture.”

“How lit­tle a thing can make us hap­py when we feel that we have earned it.”The Diaries of Adam & Eve

“The source of all humor is not laugh­ter, but sor­row.”

“The dif­fer­ence between a Mir­a­cle and a Fact is exact­ly the dif­fer­ence between a mer­maid and a seal.”Let­ters from The Earth

“A man’s char­ac­ter may be learned from the adjec­tives which he habit­u­al­ly uses in con­ver­sa­tion.”

Mark Twain quote “New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin”

“New Orleans food is as deli­cious as the less crim­i­nal forms of sin.” – Mark Twain

“If we would learn what the human race real­ly is at bot­tom, we need only observe it in elec­tion times.”

“Good breed­ing con­sists of con­ceal­ing how much we think of our­selves and how lit­tle we think of the oth­er per­son.”

“High and fine lit­er­a­ture is wine, and mine is only water; but every­body likes water.”

“A man is nev­er more truth­ful than when he acknowl­edges him­self a liar.”

Mark Twain quote “I can last two months on a good compliment”

“I can last two months on a good com­pli­ment.” – Mark Twain

“Explain­ing humor is a lot like dis­sect­ing a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.”

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the win­dow by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.”

“There are sev­er­al good pro­tec­tions against temp­ta­tions, but the surest is cow­ardice.”

“When in doubt tell the truth. It will con­found your ene­mies and astound your friends.”

“The two most impor­tant days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

Mark Twain quote “Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary”

“Any emo­tion, if it is sin­cere, is invol­un­tary.” – Mark Twain

“Nev­er argue with stu­pid peo­ple, they will drag you down to their lev­el and then beat you with expe­ri­ence.”

“To get the full val­ue of joy you must have some­one to divide it with.”

“It is curi­ous that phys­i­cal courage should be so com­mon in the world and moral courage so rare.”

“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”

“Every­one is a moon, and has a dark side which he nev­er shows to any­body.”

“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life”

“Give every day the chance to become the most beau­ti­ful day of your life.” – Mark Twain

“One of the most strik­ing dif­fer­ences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”

“The more things are for­bid­den, the more pop­u­lar they become.”

“Nev­er be haughty to the hum­ble, nev­er be hum­ble to the haughty.”

“Use the right word, not its sec­ond cousin.”

“Give a man a rep­u­ta­tion as an ear­ly ris­er and he can sleep ’til noon.”

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society”

“Clothes make the man. Naked peo­ple have lit­tle or no influ­ence on soci­ety.” – Mark Twain

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so igno­rant I could hard­ly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was aston­ished at how much the old man had learned in sev­en years.”

“The trou­ble is not in dying for a friend, but in find­ing a friend worth dying for.”

“The worst lone­li­ness is to not be com­fort­able with your­self.”

“Trav­el is fatal to prej­u­dice, big­otry, and nar­row-mind­ed­ness, and many of our peo­ple need it sore­ly on these accounts. Broad, whole­some, char­i­ta­ble views of men and things can­not be acquired by veg­e­tat­ing in one lit­tle cor­ner of the earth all one’s life­time.”The Inno­cents Abroad
“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's”

“The dog is a gen­tle­man; I hope to go to his heav­en not man’s.” – Mark Twain

“The human race has only one real­ly effec­tive weapon and that is laugh­ter.”

“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“I must have a prodi­gious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, some­times, to make it up!”

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the ves­sel in which it is stored than to any­thing on which it is poured.”

“Of all the ani­mals, man is the only one that is cru­el. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the plea­sure of doing it.”

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imag­i­na­tion is out of focus.” – Mark Twain, A Con­neti­cut Yan­kee in King Arthur’s Court

“For­give­ness is the fra­grance that the vio­let sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

“Giv­ing up smok­ing is the eas­i­est thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thou­sands of times.”

“The most inter­est­ing infor­ma­tion come from chil­dren, for they tell all they know and then stop.”

“Always do what is right. It will grat­i­fy half of mankind and astound the oth­er.”

“Edu­ca­tion: the path from cocky igno­rance to mis­er­able uncer­tain­ty.”

“Kind­ness is a lan­guage which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

Mark Twain quote “The secret to getting ahead is getting started”

“The secret to get­ting ahead is get­ting start­ed.” – Mark Twain

“The easy con­fi­dence with which I know anoth­er man’s reli­gion is fol­ly teach­es me to sus­pect that my own is also.”

“If ani­mals could speak, the dog would be a blun­der­ing out­spo­ken fel­low; but the cat would have the rare grace of nev­er say­ing a word too much.”

“A clear con­science is the sure sign of a bad mem­o­ry.”

“You believe in a book that has talk­ing ani­mals, wiz­ards, witch­es, demons, sticks turn­ing into snakes, burn­ing bush­es, food falling from the sky, peo­ple walk­ing on water, and all sorts of mag­i­cal, absurd and prim­i­tive sto­ries, and you say that we are the ones that need help?”

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog”

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” – Mark Twain

“His­to­ry doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”

“If vot­ing made any dif­fer­ence they wouldn’t let us do it.”

“The less there is to jus­ti­fy a tra­di­tion­al cus­tom, the hard­er it is to get rid of it.”The Adven­tures of Tom Sawyer

“In Paris they just sim­ply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We nev­er did suc­ceed in mak­ing those idiots under­stand their own lan­guage.”The Inno­cents Abroad

“Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no busi­ness doing wrong when he ain’t igno­rant and knows bet­ter.”The Adven­tures of Huck­le­ber­ry Finn

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter”

“Age is an issue of mind over mat­ter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t mat­ter.” – Mark Twain

“A gen­tle­man is some­one who knows how to play the ban­jo and doesn’t.”

“There is noth­ing so annoy­ing as hav­ing two peo­ple talk­ing when you’re busy inter­rupt­ing.”

“The rad­i­cal of one cen­tu­ry is the con­ser­v­a­tive of the next. The rad­i­cal invents the views. When he has worn them out, the con­ser­v­a­tive adopt.”

“I couldn’t bear to think about it; and yet, some­how, I couldn’t think about noth­ing else.”The Adven­tures of Huck­le­ber­ry Finn

“Heav­en goes by favor. If it went by mer­it, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”

Mark Twain quote “I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead”

“I didn’t have time to write a short let­ter, so I wrote a long one instead.” – Mark Twain

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morn­ing and noth­ing worse will hap­pen to you the rest of the day.”

“Always acknowl­edge a fault. This will throw those in author­i­ty off their guard and give you an oppor­tu­ni­ty to com­mit more.”

“All right, then, I’ll go to hell.”The Adven­tures of Huck­le­ber­ry Finn

“When we remem­ber we are all mad, the mys­ter­ies dis­ap­pear and life stands explained.”

“It is bet­ter to deserve hon­ors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”

Mark Twain quote “Reality can be beaten with enough imagination”

“Real­i­ty can be beat­en with enough imag­i­na­tion.” – Mark Twain

“Part of the secret of suc­cess in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are remind­ed of what we are on the oth­er three hun­dred and six­ty-four.”Puddn’head Wil­son and Oth­er Tales

“After all these years, I see that I was mis­tak­en about Eve in the begin­ning; it is bet­ter to live out­side the Gar­den with her than inside it with­out her.”Diaries of Adam & Eve

“I have found out that there ain’t no sur­er way to find out whether you like peo­ple or hate them than to trav­el with them.”Tom Sawyer Abroad

“The best way to cheer your­self is to try to cheer some­one else up.”

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes”

“A lie can trav­el half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” – Mark Twain

“I haven’t any right to crit­i­cize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to crit­i­cize Jane Austen, but her books mad­den me so that I can’t con­ceal my fren­zy from the read­er; and there­fore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prej­u­dice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

“I have a high­er and grander stan­dard of prin­ci­ple than George Wash­ing­ton. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t.”

“All you need in this life is igno­rance and con­fi­dence; then suc­cess is sure. ”

“Get your facts first, and then you can dis­tort them as much as you please.”

“Nev­er put off till tomor­row what may be done day after tomor­row just as well.”

Mark Twain quote “God created war so that Americans would learn geography”

“God cre­at­ed war so that Amer­i­cans would learn geog­ra­phy.” – Mark Twain

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy con­science: this is the ide­al life.”

“Don’t go around say­ing the world owes you a liv­ing. The world owes you noth­ing. It was here first.”

“Keep away from peo­ple who try to belit­tle your ambi­tions. Small peo­ple always do that, but the real­ly great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

“The dif­fer­ence between the almost right word and the right word is real­ly a large mat­ter. ’tis the dif­fer­ence between the light­ning bug and the light­ning.”

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eigh­teen cen­turies, has had the com­mon human­i­ty to pray for the one sin­ner that need­ed it most?”

Mark Twain quote

“′Clas­sic′ – a book which peo­ple praise and don’t read.” – Mark Twain

“In a good book­room you feel in some mys­te­ri­ous way that you are absorb­ing the wis­dom con­tained in all the books through your skin, with­out even open­ing them.”

“The man who does not read has no advan­tage over the man who can­not read.”

“I was grat­i­fied to be able to answer prompt­ly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”

“Human beings can be awful cru­el to one anoth­er.”The Adven­tures of Huck­le­ber­ry Finn

“It is eas­i­er to stay out than to get out.”

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been”

“Wrin­kles should mere­ly indi­cate where the smiles have been.” – Mark Twain

“Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full val­ue of joy you must have some­body to divide it with.”

“When red-head­ed peo­ple are above a cer­tain social grade their hair is auburn.”

“Thun­der is good, thun­der is impres­sive; but it is light­ning that does the work.”

“The right word may be effec­tive, but no word was ever as effec­tive as a right­ly timed pause.”

“It takes your ene­my and your friend, work­ing togeth­er, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slan­der you and the oth­er to get the news to you.”

“There’s one way to find out if a man is hon­est: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.”

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever”

“He who asks is a fool for five min­utes, but he who does not ask remains a fool for­ev­er.” – Mark Twain

“It’s eas­i­er to fool peo­ple than to con­vince them that they have been fooled.”

“Per­sons attempt­ing to find a motive in this nar­ra­tive will be pros­e­cut­ed; per­sons attempt­ing to find a moral in it will be ban­ished; per­sons attempt­ing to find a plot in it will be shot.”The Adven­tures of Huck­le­ber­ry Finn

“Life does not con­sist main­ly, or even large­ly, of facts or hap­pen­ings. It con­sist main­ly of the storm of thoughts that is for­ev­er flow­ing through one’s head.”

Mark Twain quote “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval”

“A man can­not be com­fort­able with­out his own approval.” – Mark Twain

“A suc­cess­ful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.”

“It’s bet­ter to keep your mouth shut and appear stu­pid than open it and remove all doubt.”

“Writ­ing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.”

“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would per­mit us to be pirates.” – Life on the Mis­sis­sip­pi

“I did not attend his funer­al, but I sent a nice let­ter say­ing I approved of it.”

Mark Twain quote “Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it”

“Nev­er tell the truth to peo­ple who are not wor­thy of it.” – Mark Twain

“Loy­al­ty to coun­try ALWAYS. Loy­al­ty to gov­ern­ment, when it deserves it.”

“Sub­sti­tute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your edi­tor will delete it and the writ­ing will be just as it should be.”

“The fear of death fol­lows from the fear of life. A man who lives ful­ly is pre­pared to die at any time.”

“Be good and you will be lone­some.”Fol­low­ing the Equa­tor: A Jour­ney Around the World

“Why do you sit there look­ing like an enve­lope with­out any address on it?”

Mark Twain quote “A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies”

“A half-truth is the most cow­ard­ly of lies.” – Mark Twain

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the under­tak­er will be sor­ry.”

“The man who is a pes­simist before 48 knows too much; if he is an opti­mist after it he knows too lit­tle.”

“Man is the only ani­mal that blush­es. Or needs to.”

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”Note­book

“A per­son that start­ed in to car­ry a cat home by the tail was get­ting knowl­edge that was always going to be use­ful to him, and warn’t ever going to grow dim or doubt­ful.”Tom Sawyer Abroad

“Patri­o­tism is sup­port­ing your coun­try all the time and your gov­ern­ment when it deserves it.”

Mark Twain quote “The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog”

“The more I learn about peo­ple, the more I like my dog.” – Mark Twain

“When I was younger, I could remem­ber any­thing, whether it had hap­pened or not; but my fac­ul­ties are decay­ing now and soon I shall be so I can­not remem­ber any but the things that nev­er hap­pened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.”

“Let us be thank­ful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not suc­ceed. ”

“That is just the way with some peo­ple. They get down on a thing when they don’t know noth­ing about it.”The Adven­tures of Huck­le­ber­ry Finn

“Don’t part with your illu­sions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

“San­i­ty and hap­pi­ness are an impos­si­ble com­bi­na­tion.”

“If you don’t read the news­pa­per, you’re unin­formed. If you read the news­pa­per, you’re mis-informed.”

Mark Twain quote “Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries”

“Civ­i­liza­tion is a lim­it­less mul­ti­pli­ca­tion of unnec­es­sary nec­es­saries.” – Mark Twain

“Famil­iar­i­ty breeds con­tempt and chil­dren.”

“Cen­sor­ship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.”

“Facts are stub­born things, but sta­tis­tics are pli­able.”

“It’s easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.”

Huck Finn quote

“I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.” – Mark Twain, The Adven­tures of Huck­le­ber­ry Finn

“Against the assault of laugh­ter, noth­ing can stand.”The Mys­te­ri­ous Stranger and Oth­er Curi­ous Tales

“The old­er I get, the more clear­ly I remem­ber things that nev­er hap­pened.”

“There are many humor­ous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less sav­age than the oth­er sav­ages.”Fol­low­ing the Equa­tor: A Jour­ney Around the World

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake, he want­ed it only because it was for­bid­den. The mis­take was in not for­bid­ding the ser­pent; then he would have eat­en the ser­pent.”Puddn’head Wil­son and Oth­er Tales

“There was nev­er yet an unin­ter­est­ing life. Such a thing is an impos­si­bil­i­ty. Inside of the dullest exte­ri­or there is a dra­ma, a com­e­dy, and a tragedy.”

Mark Twain quote “Comparison is the death of joy”

“Com­par­i­son is the death of joy.” – Mark Twain

“Train­ing is every­thing. The peach was once a bit­ter almond; cau­li­flower is noth­ing but cab­bage with a col­lege edu­ca­tion.”

“The reports of my death are great­ly exag­ger­at­ed.”

“There isn’t time, so brief is life, for bick­er­ings, apolo­gies, heart­burn­ings, call­ings to account. There is only time for lov­ing, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.”

“Write with­out pay until some­body offers to pay.”

“My books are water; those of the great genius­es is wine. Every­body drinks water.”Note­book

“If you pick up a starv­ing dog and make him pros­per­ous he will not bite you. This is the prin­ci­pal dif­fer­ence between a dog and man.”

Mark Twain quote “I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened”

“I’ve lived through some ter­ri­ble things in my life, some of which actu­al­ly hap­pened.” – Mark Twain

“Courage is resis­tance to fear, mas­tery of fear – not absence of fear.”

“Name the great­est of all inven­tors. Acci­dent.”

“Truth is stranger than fic­tion, but it is because Fic­tion is oblig­ed to stick to pos­si­bil­i­ties; Truth isn’t.”Fol­low­ing the Equa­tor: A Jour­ney Around the World

“Nev­er allow some­one to be your pri­or­i­ty while allow­ing your­self to be their option.”

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for bil­lions and bil­lions of years before I was born, and had not suf­fered the slight­est incon­ve­nience from it.”

“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else”

“Books are for peo­ple who wish they were some­where else.” – Mark Twain

“Read­er, sup­pose you were an idiot. And sup­pose you were a mem­ber of Con­gress. But I repeat myself.”

“What would men be with­out women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.”

“It is high­er and nobler to be kind.”

“An hon­est politi­cian is an oxy­moron.”

“If you want me to give you a two-hour pre­sen­ta­tion, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to pre­pare.”

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slow­est of all growths. No man or woman real­ly knows what per­fect love is until they have been mar­ried a quar­ter of a cen­tu­ry.”

“To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail”

“To a man with a ham­mer, every­thing looks like a nail.” – Mark Twain

We hope you’ve enjoyed this amaz­ing col­lec­tion of Mark Twain quotes, show­cas­ing his time­less humor, wit, and wis­dom.  If we left out your favorite, just let us know.

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